Yes, basket, here we fucking go again….
J’s right. What the fuck am i holding on to? one day I’m happy. one day i’m sad… happy, sad…. fucking roller coaster ride… as J would say “na bei”…..
something’s happening soon, something that I am really excited about… i want him to be there, to support me. yet, he’s “torn”.. you see, he can’t come because he only has one or two days leave left.. he spent most of it holidaying with his family in canada… a family that does not even know i exist.. and if they know, they pretend not to know i exist, because well, let’s face it, i’m not the right fucking race i think…..
anyway, he is torn because he wants to go back and spend the festive time with his family… am i being unreasonable? you think so? let me just tell you this….i have not asked anything of him in all the two years we’ve been together…. never ever have i asked him to give up something for me. i have not asked him to buy me anything, though i have bought him l0ts. i have not imposed conditions on him, even though i can think of a few thousand fucking things that i could impose conditions on….
all i ask now… the first time i’m ever asking him for something where he has to make a sacrifice for me (small feat considering how many i’ve made for him!!)… all i ask is that he come for that thing i am so excited about. why cant he just choose me once… just once.
I really don’t know what I am in this for… feels like i’m being pulled down by a heavy weight….. fuck….
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nabei indeed.
You know the drill… “NO DEAL!!”